Did you ever think that being in a relationship/marriage is going to be easy?
Did you think that the love and passion you felt when you first met would stay the same for the rest of your life?
If you thought so, you were not prepared for the relationship/marriage journey. Relationships require a lot of work. When partners take relationships for granted, this is when they start to drift apart from each other.
In healthy relationships, you need to continue and connect. You should know all about your partner to understand what makes him/her happy, sad, upset or indifferent. You need to prepare yourself that love “changes colors” as time goes by. It becomes deeper and more meaningful. If you can’t be friends, you can’t be lovers!
Here are some tools that may help you in your relationship journey:
• Edit yourself – avoid being critical. When expressing needs that are not met. Express how you feel without blaming.
• Don’t escalate an argument to a fight.
• Don’t use contempt when bringing up issues that need to be corrected.
• Don’t fight for “being right”. Fight for solutions and for happier relationships.
• Be a team on the same fence, not rivals.
• Accommodate each others needs even when you don’t agree 100%. Negotiate in what feels OK for both of you. Remember, negotiating means you give a little and you get a little.
• If an argument gets out of hand and neither can back down, agree to a “time out” period. Cool off for an hour or more and come back to revisit the problem when both of you are cool and collected.
•Concentrate on the qualities of your partner rather then the deficits. Remember, what made you fall in love and focus on the positives! This will always give you a better chance to a happier relationship.
If you know of someone who’s relationship hit “a snag”, feel free to forward this blog to them. Watch for the weekly topics I will be covering.